Co-dependence: These Are The Most Common Characteristics

Co-dependence is a very complicated behavior that affects both the person who develops it and those in their immediate circle of friends. It can have a major impact on a person’s daily life and make them unfit to deal with many of the challenges they may encounter.

Therefore, it is also important to know what co-dependence is and how it can affect you, so that you can avoid developing this problem, but also so that you can discover if someone in your vicinity suffers from it.

To define co-dependence

Co-dependence occurs in a dependent relationship where at least one of the parties is dependent on something. The abuse leads to a form of division between the two parties in the relationship. This leads to a change in behavior and causes the couple to start functioning in a different way.

Some research indicates that women are more likely to develop co-dependence. This is especially true for women who are mothers or spouses. One can explain this with their cultural development in society. In this regard, women often assume the role of caregivers, almost to the point that they forget themselves in their efforts to meet the needs of their loved ones.

The term itself comes from families who have participated in Alcoholics Anonymous. In various sessions, a number of special physical, emotional and psychological conditions were discovered in the nuclear family.

People in this situation tend to develop some inefficiency in the way they express their feelings. It also affects their ability to resolve personal and interpersonal conflicts. They spend most of their time controlling the abuser’s abuse, to the point that they themselves are experiencing the abuse. This creates a dynamic where addicts control the co-addict’s life through manipulative behavior.

Different types of co-dependence

There are two types of co-dependence. Each of them has its own characteristics and consequences.

Dependence on the other party

The first type is about dependency on the other party. In this case, the person has an unhealthy attachment or dependency – this can also be mutual – to an addict. It is important to emphasize that in this form of co-dependence, the person in question is not dependent on narcotic drugs.

This situation arises from the stress you experience by living with and having to deal with a dependent person. Therefore, this phenomenon increases and intensifies over time. Here are some of the descriptive principles of this form of addiction:

• A constant investment of time to try to develop skills to be able to control both himself and his partner, especially in difficult situations arise.

• To prioritize the addict’s knowledge and areas of responsibility to the point that the person in question begins to overlook his or her own knowledge and areas of responsibility.
• Distortion and anxiety when it comes to the boundaries between separation and anxiety.
• To ignore one’s own needs and personal space.
• Tendency to get involved in relation to impulsive people with personality disorders or substance abuse problems.

Bio-addiction

The second form of co-dependence is bio-dependence. We can define this construction as an addiction to addiction. In other words, a relational addiction implanted in a person who has an addiction.

In this case, it is about a set of attitudes and behaviors that, apart from the specific abuse, create an addiction to people or situations of a sociopathic nature. This largely determines the daily activity of the two individuals who are in this addiction-co-dependency relationship.

Bio-dependent people adopt a passive approach. They consciously lose or noticeably reduce their independence. As a result, they make no decisions and in many ways become disabled. You could say that the relationship they have with the person they are addicted to is similar to the relationship they have with the substance they are abusing.

It is important to point out that the lack of independence does not apply to the actions required to maintain the abuse. Therefore, an addict may be able to find resources, perform the actions and obtain what is needed to satisfy the abuse. Here are some of the clinical features of a bio-dependent person:

• A lack of awareness of the problem.
• Disclaimer of all decisions and a clear decline in own independence.
• The demand for a type of sensation from their partner that is similar to what they are looking for in the substance they are abusing.

• An obsessed search for a partner, which emphasizes that it is the relationship that stimulates this form of bio-addiction.

Why does this phenomenon occur?

It is important to emphasize that co-dependence often occurs when a family member or partner has some form of substance dependence. When developing co-dependence, it is common for people around you to end up with a form of behavior that acts as a reinforcement of their own abuse.

This perverse adaptation has a set of relational dynamics that are very unhealthy. In the case of the co-addict, he or she begins to take on responsibilities that are not theirs in that they become aware of significant problems related to the abuse. This is done in an attempt to minimize the damage.

They begin to take action and take on the same role as the abusive person. In some cases, their attempts to help the abuser cause them to forget themselves.

As a result, the person begins to suffer from anxiety and stress. They begin to manifest feelings of shame on behalf of their abusive partner or family member, but also on their own behalf.

In addition, they live with the fear of not knowing if they are doing the right thing or out of sheer helplessness over not being able to handle everything. Eventually, they develop feelings of guilt because the co-addict believes they are to blame for the abuse.

Conclusion

Addiction does not only affect the person who has an addiction. The perverse consequences of independence go beyond this. Research shows that the greater the abuse, the greater the chance that a co-dependence will develop in the addict’s immediate environment.

The consequences and impact of the abuse immediately become much greater once it has reached this limit. Almost to the point where co-dependence reinforces the abuse. Therefore, it is often the case that the support that generates the most positive effect is that given in the framework of a psychological intervention. A situation where professionals are always present to guide and give good advice.