Grief After A Breakup – The Five Different Stages

Like any situation where you lose someone you loved, grieving after a breakup can be very complicated. Many people, when a relationship ends, have a range of emotions that they can not control. This is especially true if the decision was unilateral or if the other person disappeared without explanation.

However, grief after a breakup is very similar to other types of loss. This has a great advantage: psychologists have spent many decades studying how to overcome losses. Therefore, there are many tools available that can help us through a separation. Let’s dive deeper into this.

Stages of grief after a breakup

The process of mourning a breakup has five stages. The peculiar thing is that they present themselves in a slightly different way than the stages that occur after a loved one dies. However, the basic structure is the same.

So when our partner ends up with us, it is normal for us to go through the five stages of grief:

• Denial.
• Anger.
• Negotiations.
• Depression.
• Acceptance.

These stages do not happen in the same order for everyone. Some may start with anger, then jump to denial, and then move on to depression. Another person may be caught between negotiations and depression, and jump from one to another for a long time.

The key is to remember that all these feelings are completely normal. In addition, we must remember that grief occurs almost inevitably after a breakup if there were strong emotions. Therefore, just understanding what each stage consists of can greatly relieve emotional pain.

Let’s take a closer look at each stage.

1. Denial

This is one of the first stages that can occur after a fracture. In case of a breakup , the affected person is not able to believe that the relationship is over. Because of this, they continue to behave as if the other person could return at any time.

Depending on the person, this can happen in different ways. For some, the breakup will be nothing more than a normal quarrel. In these cases, the affected person believes that there will soon be a reconciliation. On the other hand, for others, it will be clear that it is a real breakup, but they think they will be able to get their items back with a little effort.

If you think you are in this stage, you need to open your eyes and see what is right in front of you. Denying reality will only give you more long-term suffering.

2. Sun.

When the person accepts that their relationship is over, feelings of hostility and anger usually appear. These play a fundamental role: they allow the emotional pain to be less intense.

Some typical thoughts you may have in this phase are:

• “I did not deserve this.”
• “I’m better off without her.”
• “He does not know what he lost.”

However, this mental dialogue hides large amounts of bitterness and pain. To move forward with the grieving process, it is necessary to understand that the partner is a normal and normal person who only acts in the best way they know. Only then can the mind be diluted and you can move on to the next stage.

Negotiations

In this phase, the person experiencing the loss tries to get their item back in every possible way. This can be through romantic gestures, begging, or even emotional blackmail. This is especially true for people with certain personality types, such as dramatizing or depressed.

The only way to overcome this phase is to accept that your ex will not return. Only then will it be possible to move on to the next stage of grief.

4. Depression

During this stage, the person finally accepts that their ex will not return. But the process of overcoming grief is not over yet. In the depression stage , the overriding belief is that you cannot live without the other person.

Because of this, some of the most common thoughts in this phase are:

• “I will never find someone like him / her.”
• “I’m going to die alone.”
• “I will never be well again.”
• “No one will love me as he / she does.”

The messages that the person transmits to himself are mostly irrational thoughts. To get over grief after a breakup, it is necessary to accept that you will be fine without the other person, and that losing this relationship is not so terrible.

5. Acceptance

The last stage occurs when the person finally accepts what happened. In addition, they realize that they do not need the other person to be okay. During this time, the affected partner can rebuild their life and even start a new relationship in a healthy way.

The time it takes to go through the five stages of grief depends on each person. If you’re going through a breakup right now, you need to be patient with yourself. You have to take things slow and work actively to get better.