The Challenge Of Accepting Things That Happen To Us
Accepting things that happen to us is the first step towards change. To accept the most painful things that have happened to us, we often need time, which lasts from the moment it happens until we have managed to deal with it. And really, this acceptance will help us create a new, more real view of ourselves and what is happening to us.
The challenge that every human being has to face at some point is to adapt to the most unfavorable circumstances, because things will not always go the way we want. There will come a day, more or less sad, more or less distant, where we accept what we are, whether it is to change it or write it into our history.
Admitting our vulnerability instead of trying to hide it is the best way to face reality, but it is also the best way to build trusting relationships. Accepting things is not cowardly. Instead, it is a sign of bravery needed to admit that we are in a place we do not like.
Life is not what we think, it is what happens to us
Reality pleases us sometimes and other times just crushes us. But as we should have already accepted, life is not what it wants, it is what happens to us. Getting tools to integrate all the things we’ve been through, especially the painful ones, is emotional intelligence.
Emotionally intelligent people experience negative and painful emotions without the weight of frustration that blows the air out of them. They know they are inevitable and do not try to suppress or ignore them.
In contrast, people with low emotional intelligence make the process even more painful by not being able to separate pain from suffering.
Pain is inevitable, but suffering is largely a personal choice. Normally we suffer more with what we do not accept. Denial, when there is a very large emotional impact, is valid as a first defense strategy, but becomes invalid when it persists.
What you can not accept things, let it happen. Later you will understand
How can we accept things we will never be prepared for?
Acceptance of what has already happened or must happen is the first step in transcending the emotional consequence of an unfortunate event. The fastest way to change our attitude toward pain is to accept the fact that everything that happens to us can help us grow.
Life is dynamic. From childhood we are in continuous change. We change toys, school, friendship, family composition. Accepting this as a part of life, instead of burying it as if it is not going to happen, allows us to understand the seasons of life.
We do not get over any losses, but accept them. To learn to accept the loss, we must understand the feelings we have and give them meaning in the present. Repeat memories so you can move on.
What we once rejoiced in, we never lose. Everything we love deeply becomes a part of us. Like when we connect with another person, close friends, parents, siblings, partners. This connection changes us and makes us somehow part of its reflections.
So, with any kind of loss, we must know that the person leaving our life has already made his mark in us. When we want them to be with us, looking at our movements, our words and attitudes is all we need to do to see some of them again.
