The Mistake I Made Was Not To Love You, Those Were The Expectations I Had

It is never a mistake to love someone, because the act of love is noble, pure, authentic and instinctive. But even if you do not regret it, it hurts to love someone who does not deserve it, someone who does not meet your expectations.

Loving the wrong person is a serious situation that you rarely get unharmed from. But you must gather your strength and revive the embers of your self so that you can give spark to it again. You must stop suffering for love and try to prolong a love that is broken if you ever want to have room for yourself and begin to be healed.

All the social media and online dating sites that exist today give rise to an interesting phenomenon. Many people feel that they are always in love with the wrong person. But they continue to believe in love, and more than anything else, they long to fall in love with the right person at the right time. They long to feel wanted, respected and loved.

Dating profiles offer an interesting option: the ability to choose which interests and characteristics you are looking for. All this gives a certain sense of control over what you want and do not want, so you try to find the perfect formula. However, experts on affective relationships point out that love is not an algorithm.

Making mistakes about love from time to time is almost a law of life. But sometimes chaos occurs, and completely unexpectedly you get what you wanted so much: a mature, conscious and happy relationship. So do not worry, there is never a reason to lose hope.

False expectations

We said it in the beginning: love is never a mistake . People breathe, learn, love, cry, laugh and keep going. The wheel of life continues forward, and it invites us to be a part of the intense and beautiful movement it creates. There is no reason to run from our nature. However, it becomes problematic when you continue to love someone who does not love you back.

It is often said that people do not change, they were just never who you thought they were. Of course, we all change to some degree based on our experiences, but our roots are always there. Sometimes we do not see them, and we limit ourselves by creating false expectations that do not correspond to reality.

So does this mean that it is always our fault when we love someone who does not deserve it? That we are naive about building castles out of thin air? No not at all. An interesting book entitled The 7-Minute Marriage Solution explains how false expectations in a relationship are created and reinforced.

On the one hand, some people pursue their fantasies in their eagerness to find happiness, to the point where they turn the other person’s  mistakes into virtues. And then there are those who feed these false expectations.

They do this for very specific reasons. One, to avoid loneliness, which means that it does not matter who the other person is, and two, to secure an available relationship by giving the other person hope for something that lasts.

It is not a mistake to love someone, but it is a mistake to continue to love the wrong person

There is no reason to be bitter about loving someone who did not deserve it. You should be proud of yourself for having loved and known when you should let go, because love is noble. You become wiser when you know when it’s time to end a chapter. You should not punish yourself for getting to know people who only brought you tears, lies and blackmail.

Life is about learning, and some teachers are good at creating toxic love. If you overcome and conquer them, you will go with better posture, and with more  dignity and calm. When it comes to emotions, you never stop learning. The best treatment for a wounded soul is to include life lessons like these, which all follow the same principle: to love yourself above all else. It is always better to suffer from pain with dignity than to be a prisoner of emotional exploitation or indifference.

Pablo Neruda once said that “I fell in love with life, because it is the only thing that will never leave me without me leaving it first.” Of course, it is not necessary to go to such extremes, but few things are as healthy as sticking well in the journey of life, which gives so much and takes so much away.

Every mistake can be learned from, and every person you meet gives you something along the way. What is important is going forward and remembering that love is always, always worth it. Just do not forget to take good care of the captain of your beautiful ship: yourself.