To Avoid Superficial Conditions, Avoid These Errors
For many, love is nothing more than a game. A form of entertainment in which the other person’s emotions have no value. In all this, the manipulation that will lead to the breakdown of the relationship is present. It is impossible that this situation will be maintained over time. In fact, it is also true that people who play with love will also burn themselves sooner or later. This is the reality of superficial conditions.
Perhaps it is the fear of formalities that encourages us to burden them with instability. Even if we try, we will not be able to form a solid bond. This behavior provokes the end of many relationships even before they begin. That is why it is so important to avoid these mistakes.
You refuse to define your relationship
It is true that labels tend to encapsulate and limit, but when two people want to be together and share certain moments in life, they must give a name to what is happening between them. If you refuse to give a name to your relationship, you will both feel lost. Are we together? Are we friends with benefits?
It is not fair to let actions speak for themselves. The other person needs to know if they are free to meet other people, or on the contrary if they are starting a serious and formal relationship. One of the two may think this is not right, so letting the situation hang in the air is not the right thing to do.
This trend indicates a clear fear of commitment and labels. However, if there is no conversation about the relationship, false illusions and ideas can emerge that can lead to much more serious problems.
You only look for them whenever you want
People have emotions, and we cannot treat them as if they were objects. They do not exist just to satisfy our needs when we want them to. When we do this, we “use” another person.
No one likes to be used by others. Have you ever done that? Have you ever ignored someone until you needed them? This type of relationship will eventually become hurtful, because it undermines self-esteem and provocative feelings of inferiority. To regard a person as a simple instrument is to take from them their humanity.
There are many who give in due to low self-esteem or emotional dependence. But you have to love yourself a little more than that. You do not deserve to be used, you deserve to be loved. Remember that you are not an object, but a person. Do not allow yourself to be used.
You say the opposite of what you think
When friendship with benefits became popular, many wanted to try out the new “trend”. But is this really the kind of relationship they wanted? Perhaps many found themselves trapped in this type of relationship, not because they wanted to. Instead, it was a way of confronting the classic thought that characterizes love as an eternal feeling. Or, at least until reality says otherwise.
In a relationship without boundaries, it becomes a game. At first, this game keeps the flame alive, but over time it can end up ruining the relationship. A seemingly innocent game where we send a message, but then we take our time before we respond. This is done on purpose to maintain the mystery and keep the other person more interested in us.
The truth is that these days conditions have become fragile. It may be because our understanding of love has changed or because we have somehow destroyed the previous concept of it and not been able to create a new one in its place.
We have criticized the lack of communication that couples suffer from, but now we defend the absence of “labels”. And this absence makes us feel confused and lost without limits. We can be clear on what we do not want, but not so much on what we want. And much less on what we are willing to negotiate to reach an agreement.
Finally, we have exchanged the classic definitions of voids. Vacancies that are not innocent, because they are the source of a lot of confusion and emotional damage. And it is something that we as a society and as individuals must think about.
