When Loneliness Is Unbearable, It’s Time To Act
When you think of loneliness and loneliness, you probably think of it as something negative. We are all affected by unpleasant experiences and irrational belief in the possibility that we are the one who will “end up alone.” If you do not find a solution to this, you can start thinking of loneliness as something unbearable.
So, the moment you feel alone or think you will always be alone, you will start to feel bad. You feel pressured and you begin to feel suffocated. It can lead to you making bad decisions. The best way to avoid this situation is to seize it and act.
Identify how you feel
What makes loneliness make you feel? Does it lead to anger or perhaps sadness? Identifying your feelings when you feel alone is important so that you can release them. If you let them go, they will not hurt you. If you ignore them, they will not go away. On the contrary, they build up inside you and become toxic, creating an even greater void inside you.
Being able to better identify what and how you are feeling in those moments can help keep an emotional diary. In it you can write down the feelings you experience when you are alone. Another option is to write a letter to someone describing how you feel. You can also draw a picture, talk to someone you trust, or just seek professional help.
At first you probably think you do not have time for such a thing. This is because it is difficult to look at what causes pain, and therefore you avoid it. Still, seeing the pain in your eyes allows you to let go of what makes you feel bad and eventually accept it. This is an extremely important, if not crucial, step.
Once you have identified what makes you feel lonely, you need to stop behaviors or attitudes that feed the loneliness. For example, you may find yourself separated from your immediate family and friends because you feel bad… It is one thing to be alone, but another completely different thing is to act in such a way that you end up alone.
You have to make an effort to make new friends. You need to try to build relationships with people that make you feel more alone. Try to notice when you get invitations to things that you would not normally go to just because you feel bad. Ask yourself “If I did not feel this way, would I go?” If the answer is yes, then make an effort and accept the invitation.
Change your beliefs about loneliness and loneliness
What beliefs do you have that make you feel that loneliness and loneliness are unbearable? Maybe you think that simply means that you are a failure. Or maybe you feel that you are not able to maintain a friendship, or that doing things alone is embarrassing…
The only way to combat these feelings is to accept them and do the opposite. Do you think it is embarrassing to have a coffee or go to the cinema alone? Does! You will find that you are not the only person doing it, and more importantly, you will realize that it can actually make you feel good.
Why not try a new activity or hobby? Maybe you work 8 hours a day and you think you are already busy. But when you get home and you are alone with no plans, your head starts to spin and have negative thoughts about loneliness. Instead, try the course you’ve always wanted to take or plan to go to the gym and take an Zumba class after work.
There are things that will help you grow as a person and realize yourself. In addition, they will help you meet new people and realize that you are not as alone as you think! You need to actively confront your sadness and realize that you are not dependent on anyone else to be happy.
Start asking questions about your faith. Do not compare yourself with other people. Do what you want to do without worrying about others participating. Your happiness and joy are at stake. You deserve the best, you deserve to feel good and happy with yourself, not just when there are other people around you or you are in a relationship.
